You Don't Hate It (You Hate Your Experience of It)
On how lazy language traps us in false identities and closes doors we never meant to shut
“I hate running.”
Such a simple sentence. You’ve probably said something similar about dozens of activities, foods, genres of music, types of people. We throw these declarations around casually, as if they’re reporting objective facts about the world rather than describing temporary states of our subjective experience.
But language has consequences beyond our intention to convey information. When you say “I hate running,” you’re not just describing a feeling. You’re constructing an identity. You’re becoming the person who hates running. You’re closing a door and declaring to yourself and anyone listening that this door is now part of the permanent architecture of who you are.
Maybe you don’t actually hate running. What if you hate how running felt the one time you tried it after years of sedentary living? What if you hate the specific way you were forced to run in gym class as a child? What if you hate feeling incompetent at something while you’re learning it?
These are radically differen…