Thank you so much for writing and sharing this with the world! It truly got me thinking and able to understand all of the situations in my life where I could benefit from letting go of control.
If control is an illusion, how can you hold people entirely responsible for what they were never shown, never taught, and never given the tools to change?
Trying to control everything. People do that in order to achieve their goal without failing once in the process, but it's impossible.
To achieve a goal experience is required, and experience is obtained through experience, that comprises both successes and fails.
This phrase is often uses to find courage, but it's core comes from renouncing control: “Courage isn't the absence of fear, courage is taking action despite feeling fear”.
You can't control everything but you can face the fear of failing head on by realising what a great teacher it really is.
As a psychiatric practitioner, I see this tension play out daily, between a patient's desire for control and the reality that so much of life resists it. Often, the more tightly someone clings to an expected outcome, the more distress they feel when life inevitably diverges.
What struck me most here was the reframing of surrender, not as resignation, but as liberation. That distinction matters. In therapy, we call it radical acceptance. In Stoicism, it’s clarity of judgment. Either way, it’s a pivot from suffering to strength.
Appreciated this deeply practical and well-structured exploration. I’ll be recommending it to a few clients (and colleagues) who need to hear this... gently.
I feel like I needed to read this today. I teach about love and trust versus fear and control, but lately I’ve been white-knuckling my grip on life — trying to maintain some semblance of control.
I developed a disability a few years ago that’s been getting worse this year, and to read that stoicism starkly places one’s body in the cannot control category was the catalyst for the permission I needed to give myself to stop fighting my own body.
Phenomenal read. Restacked! Thank you for helping me focus on my mindset to start my day. https://substack.com/@liamdarmody1/note/c-117052225?r=2ne6t9&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Thank you so much for the kind words and the restack! 🙏
Starting the day with the right mindset really does make such a difference.
Love this. Really insightful and applicable to all.
Thank you! Appreciate you taking the time to read.
Great suggestions about controlling the situations.
Loved this one,thank u
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this with the world! It truly got me thinking and able to understand all of the situations in my life where I could benefit from letting go of control.
If control is an illusion, how can you hold people entirely responsible for what they were never shown, never taught, and never given the tools to change?
Exactly. It helps to feel that you are in control.
A powerful reminder to focus on what’s truly within our reach.
Very interesting. Thank you!
In the end this is a kind of perfectionism too.
Trying to control everything. People do that in order to achieve their goal without failing once in the process, but it's impossible.
To achieve a goal experience is required, and experience is obtained through experience, that comprises both successes and fails.
This phrase is often uses to find courage, but it's core comes from renouncing control: “Courage isn't the absence of fear, courage is taking action despite feeling fear”.
You can't control everything but you can face the fear of failing head on by realising what a great teacher it really is.
As a psychiatric practitioner, I see this tension play out daily, between a patient's desire for control and the reality that so much of life resists it. Often, the more tightly someone clings to an expected outcome, the more distress they feel when life inevitably diverges.
What struck me most here was the reframing of surrender, not as resignation, but as liberation. That distinction matters. In therapy, we call it radical acceptance. In Stoicism, it’s clarity of judgment. Either way, it’s a pivot from suffering to strength.
Appreciated this deeply practical and well-structured exploration. I’ll be recommending it to a few clients (and colleagues) who need to hear this... gently.
I feel like I needed to read this today. I teach about love and trust versus fear and control, but lately I’ve been white-knuckling my grip on life — trying to maintain some semblance of control.
I developed a disability a few years ago that’s been getting worse this year, and to read that stoicism starkly places one’s body in the cannot control category was the catalyst for the permission I needed to give myself to stop fighting my own body.