These ideas combined are part of the beautiful journey Ai has made possible for us. In days gone by it was too dangerous to question the system. Now we have the ability to do what humans do best - overcome. The system has weaponized or sense of belonging so that powerful people can "keep us in our place". In so doing they have choked human progress by making us believe that limitation is the only way(along with their system)...
This is one of the more integrated pieces I’ve seen on the false polarity between toughness and emotional fluency. The cultural pendulum has indeed swung between stoic suppression and performative fragility—but resilience isn’t found in either extreme. It lives in the capacity to discern context, interrupt conditioning, and respond with precision.
The distinction between emotions and feelings is especially valuable—too often collapsed into one, which leads to confusion about what’s within our control. Emotions arise, but feelings are narratively shaped. If we don’t take responsibility for that shaping, we’re not practicing intelligence—we’re rehearsing identification.
I appreciate the reminder that wisdom isn’t knowing—it’s application. And both instinctual grit and emotional agility are ultimately trainable, if one’s willing to confront reality without distortion.
Man, thank you so much. Beautiful expansion and reflection on the topic! One I think about often, especially in how I can apply it to my own life as a father, husband, and leader.
Empathy is absolutely a skill that can be derived from emotional intelligence. Best to start with yourself which helps you realize how complicated it can be and potential reasons as to why others behave the way they do.
Awareness of my feelings/emotions allows me to choose positive actions and thoughts in order to express myself in a way that is helpful to myself and others.
I love this. The same pendulum swing has happened with parenting (basically how we approach the education of children). There was the authoriarian style up until the cultural shift in the 60's and 70's In a nutshell, do as I say and don't feel (survival oriented). The pendulum swung to a permissive style in which parents made it their goal to make children comfortable and happy. Both of these styles as you aptly put led to "internal chaos". Now the goal is a combination of adult leadership and acceptance of the child's feelings. It's called cooperative parenting and I've seen it work really well, when parents are healthy enough to take charge and to stay centered when the child is not. Thanks for this post and the inspiration to write about this topic.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and sent the following:
"With therapy comes critical thinking for self actualization. Something people don't realize and develop victim mentality without accountability on their actions."
You definitely put it in better words by phrasing what I was calling critical thinking with the more appropriate idea of using those emotional intelligence skills.
These ideas combined are part of the beautiful journey Ai has made possible for us. In days gone by it was too dangerous to question the system. Now we have the ability to do what humans do best - overcome. The system has weaponized or sense of belonging so that powerful people can "keep us in our place". In so doing they have choked human progress by making us believe that limitation is the only way(along with their system)...
Thank you 👊🏻.
AI, like the internet, television, telephone, printing press, and others before it, is an excellent tool when used wisely.
Very meaningful thoughts that if applied may help bridge our generations.
This is one of the more integrated pieces I’ve seen on the false polarity between toughness and emotional fluency. The cultural pendulum has indeed swung between stoic suppression and performative fragility—but resilience isn’t found in either extreme. It lives in the capacity to discern context, interrupt conditioning, and respond with precision.
The distinction between emotions and feelings is especially valuable—too often collapsed into one, which leads to confusion about what’s within our control. Emotions arise, but feelings are narratively shaped. If we don’t take responsibility for that shaping, we’re not practicing intelligence—we’re rehearsing identification.
I appreciate the reminder that wisdom isn’t knowing—it’s application. And both instinctual grit and emotional agility are ultimately trainable, if one’s willing to confront reality without distortion.
Man, thank you so much. Beautiful expansion and reflection on the topic! One I think about often, especially in how I can apply it to my own life as a father, husband, and leader.
Really appreciate the feedback
Thank you 🙏
Always fun seeing Kyle pop up in my various feeds and Stacks like a talisman. Appreciated this post!
👊
😂😂😂. Always good seeing your name too buddy. Appreciate you 👊🏻
Excellent post! Am I incorrect in thinking emotional intelligence also includes the skill to better understand people with whom we interact?
Empathy is absolutely a skill that can be derived from emotional intelligence. Best to start with yourself which helps you realize how complicated it can be and potential reasons as to why others behave the way they do.
Thank you brother
This really is a great share. Thank you.
I've talked about negative results of extreme on either side before and while both sides are important, the goal is to land somewhere in the middle.
Appreciate it Ely! Did you write on it before or talk about it elsewhere? Would love to see if you have it.
Talked about it with others many times over the last few years. I definitely need to write something around it that's more solid.
❤️👊🏻
In the spaces I move through—fatherhood, recovery, community building—this is the sweet spot: emotional honesty with internal boundaries.
Not performative vulnerability. Not cold stoicism.
But intentional presence.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing Rob. Fatherhood is the number one domain I attempt applying these concepts to.
Fatherhood, you say - this might resonate with you, Kyle:
https://postc4p.substack.com/p/to-chase-the-monsters-away?r=57fhx3
Have a good day :)
Awareness of my feelings/emotions allows me to choose positive actions and thoughts in order to express myself in a way that is helpful to myself and others.
❤️👊🏻
I love this. The same pendulum swing has happened with parenting (basically how we approach the education of children). There was the authoriarian style up until the cultural shift in the 60's and 70's In a nutshell, do as I say and don't feel (survival oriented). The pendulum swung to a permissive style in which parents made it their goal to make children comfortable and happy. Both of these styles as you aptly put led to "internal chaos". Now the goal is a combination of adult leadership and acceptance of the child's feelings. It's called cooperative parenting and I've seen it work really well, when parents are healthy enough to take charge and to stay centered when the child is not. Thanks for this post and the inspiration to write about this topic.
Completely agree Judith. Erin Miller and I recently talked about your exact point when we did our podcast. Appreciate you
I was talking to a friend yesterday and sent the following:
"With therapy comes critical thinking for self actualization. Something people don't realize and develop victim mentality without accountability on their actions."
You definitely put it in better words by phrasing what I was calling critical thinking with the more appropriate idea of using those emotional intelligence skills.
Thanks for another great read!
Thank you my friend
Great post. I’ve read lots on stoicism, but this is an excellent integration of practical insights. Thank you.
Appreciate that Scott. Always my goal, make it as practical as possible