This is too good…"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
This is what happens when the ancients basically invent the comment section filter.
Marcus and Epictetus weren’t trying to be unbothered. They were just reminding us that not every loud opinion deserves an altar. Sometimes criticism is gold. Sometimes it’s just someone else projecting their unfinished homework.
The sacred pause is where the alchemy happens. Thanks for distilling the noise into wisdom.
I like to take it one step further and actively seek out criticism. Therefore, I go into it prepare to respond effectively increasing the likelihood that I’ll also respond well when it’s unexpected in the future.
This is an interesting spin on reacting to criticism. The past 6 weeks I have been renovating my bathroom and when I showed a photo to a family member of the progress they responded with im sorry but that's awful I thought you would have put the tile I suggested on your wall. I was immediately hurt and annoyed and I snapped without thinking and said well its lucky its not your bathroom and you dont have to live here. But what cut deeper than their dislike of my new bathroom was it felt they doubted my ability as a professional interior designer. Your words are a good reminder its not about the person but the thing we have said or done and I could have reacted a little less defensively.
This is too good…"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
This is what happens when the ancients basically invent the comment section filter.
Marcus and Epictetus weren’t trying to be unbothered. They were just reminding us that not every loud opinion deserves an altar. Sometimes criticism is gold. Sometimes it’s just someone else projecting their unfinished homework.
The sacred pause is where the alchemy happens. Thanks for distilling the noise into wisdom.
Great piece as always.
I like to take it one step further and actively seek out criticism. Therefore, I go into it prepare to respond effectively increasing the likelihood that I’ll also respond well when it’s unexpected in the future.
A skill that can be trained like anything else.
This is an interesting spin on reacting to criticism. The past 6 weeks I have been renovating my bathroom and when I showed a photo to a family member of the progress they responded with im sorry but that's awful I thought you would have put the tile I suggested on your wall. I was immediately hurt and annoyed and I snapped without thinking and said well its lucky its not your bathroom and you dont have to live here. But what cut deeper than their dislike of my new bathroom was it felt they doubted my ability as a professional interior designer. Your words are a good reminder its not about the person but the thing we have said or done and I could have reacted a little less defensively.
Excellent.
Silence is what gives you complete control. It gives you space to react and to think. You too have control of you give the quietness its due.
That trick of separating feedback from identity? It’s surprisingly liberating to treat criticism like a comment on your outfit, not your DNA.
📌 Take the note, not the hit.
⬖ Filed while dodging ego bruises at Frequency of Reason: https://bit.ly/4jTVv69
https://substack.com/@martinzuzak/note/c-127051951?r=3en26e