Winning Arguments, Losing Friends
Learn to recognize when your ego is sabotaging your relationships and how to choose connection over winning.
A few years ago, I had a normal Sunday dinner with my family. My sister mentioned something about a historical event that I was certain she had wrong. I immediately corrected her, citing facts I remembered from a documentary I'd watched. She disagreed, insisting her version was correct.
What should have been a trivial moment turned into a full-blown argument. I pulled out my phone to prove I was right. My voice got louder. I interrupted her repeatedly. I called her "ridiculous" for believing something so obviously wrong.
When I finally found the information that proved me correct, I felt that rush of satisfaction we all know too well. I smiled smugly and held up my phone like a trophy.
But then I looked around the table.
The room had gone quiet. My sister looked hurt and embarrassed. My parents seemed uncomfortable. And for what? So I could be right about a fact that, in the grand scheme of things, didn't matter at all?
In that moment, I realized I had "won" the argument but lost something…