Loved this. Five minutes before I read this there was a bee on the floor buzzing, appearing to be near death. I thought of picking it up with a Kleenex and flushing it but changed my mind and let him go outside. Compassion trumps irritation.
Thanks for sharing this story. I am reminded that every thing that exists in this world has significance and we should spend time to learn about it and from each other.
Your example of compassion, and reminding us to pause in the gap between instant judgement and observation is such a helpful lesson. Thank you for your reminder about how judgement also guillotines the part of us which can be enriched by taking the time to listen before labeling the other. I needed this.
"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." True self-reflective wisdom well shared, friend! Of course, you might have given him tea before scooting the little bug-ger out the door.
Thank you! And you're right, I skipped the hospitality entirely. Next time we'll do some tea, a warm towel, and perhaps a small reading of Epictetus before I send him on his way.
This resonates with earlier posts you've written on attention. And the exploration is revealing. Perspective. In the modern age humans are often anchored in supremecy. A belief everything else on this beautiful jewel of a planet is beneath us. The mercy you showed with curious study is expansive.
A similar event happened to me today. We have false widows here (yeap relatives of the black widow). They came from Madeira in the plantation shipments many moons ago. I was clearing some weeds out of the front bed and noticed the bulbous black shape of a female with distinct yellow white skull and cross bones on the back.
Now these can give a nasty bite - she was heading for the road, and my reaction was to find a bit of cardboard to pick her up and put her in dense vegetation. The recyclers had been and before Id found something to pick her up with, she'd faded away.
A few years back the reaction might have been to kill on sight. Fear. Programming. But that pause. Followed by curiosity opened up a new way of seeing. One from the heart. Thats where the magic lives.
Thank you, Jonny. You reached for the cardboard with a spider that could actually have hurt you. That's a harder call than mine was. Shame she'd already moved on, but the instinct is what counts.
I don't often comment...maybe even never. I just wanted to say your emails have changed my life for the better. I love the way you write and the way you think. I just wanted to share that with you and thank you.
Thank you, Ann. Knowing you broke your silence to share this means a great deal, and I'm grateful you did. It's a real gift to hear the writing has mattered to you.
Thank you for this story, it touched me deeply, especially because it concerned one of the nature’s little creatures. Choosing more kindness and compassion over a quick judgment is my wish for the world. I believe you just made the world a better place by making us more aware of ourselves, by shining the light right on that brief but important moment when we can become aware and make a compassionate choice. I am sending this out to my family and friends!
Well said Veronika. You prefaced "choose compassion" with "when we can become aware". That's not a given as you aptly point out. When I'm aware, in the moment as it were, I'm much more likeley to make a better decision. And "doing nothing" can sometimes be the most compassionate thing we can do.
Turning 70 in a few months, having been a hunter of big and small game in my youth, I find myself noticing I do not wish to kill tiny defenseless creatures that have only hours, days or just weeks of life to live their entire existence, especially as I see and feel my own time flying away untethered and uncatchable. The least I can do is not shorten their already curtailed tiny lives.
Interesting how, upon becoming vegan many years ago, I came to this same conclusion involving “choosing compassion when you can”; and how doing so merits worth in a hostile world. Simply by resisting the innate urges to act according to a false sense of self-righteousness and superiority over others, being mindful to not “repay evil for evil”, we are contributing less hostility into the mix, making the world a better, if not potentially safer place to be. And haven’t all the mystics, gurus, and world saviors from Rumi to Jesus to Buddha instructed us to do the same thing accordingly?
Funny thing also how I, too, experience the joy of small and tender mercies every time I find a crane fly in my home. Rather than exercise the typical knee-jerk response of pursue and destroy, I rather go out of my way, sometimes even interrupting a current activity, to catch and release this extraordinary simple and benign creature back into its natural habitat. I do the same thing with house spiders, too, by the way.
Everything that lives and has the breath of life in it has purpose and is worthy of being. It is up to us to choose compassion over mindless actions of cruelty and indifference with no other intent except to rid ourselves of an assumed annoyance, or worse, for our own self amusement.
Inhumanity and inhumane acts take on many forms against many kinds of targets: animals, humans (which are taxonomically animals), and the environment as a whole. But as George Bernard Shaw said: “The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.” Indeed so.
In the split second between reaction and action — “the gap” where self-awareness and awareness of others meet — choosing compassion as an actionable response toward others, when possible, both redefines us as becoming a better version of ourselves and makes the world around us a place that is a little kinder and gentler, a little better than it was before.
It is a great story and a beautiful analogy, but I can't help think why doesn't the crane fly eat?
That's because in their larval form they eat voraciously, feeding on the roots of turf and forage crops as 'leather jackets'. They cause unknown millions of dollars in economic damage to residential lawns and forage crops throughout North America.
Keep killing crane flies; their whole job is to propagate and if you stop the propagation you stop the damage.
I Don't know how this relates to your post, but it's important to know crane flies do not exist in a vacuum. They are the end stage.
Are we really supposed to wipe out every creature that propagates and fills its role in nature just because some of their larvae affect human lawns? We do not own the earth.
I appreciate the line that compassion does not always start as warmth. Indeed sometimes friction is necessary to find the truth. However, telling my wife that mayflies have no mouths did nothing for her reaction to the truth of them being everywhere. How do we break down barriers to that which appalls us?
Loved this. Five minutes before I read this there was a bee on the floor buzzing, appearing to be near death. I thought of picking it up with a Kleenex and flushing it but changed my mind and let him go outside. Compassion trumps irritation.
Thanks for sharing this story. I am reminded that every thing that exists in this world has significance and we should spend time to learn about it and from each other.
Thank you, Margaret. That's a lovely way to put it. Glad it resonated with you.
Your example of compassion, and reminding us to pause in the gap between instant judgement and observation is such a helpful lesson. Thank you for your reminder about how judgement also guillotines the part of us which can be enriched by taking the time to listen before labeling the other. I needed this.
"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." True self-reflective wisdom well shared, friend! Of course, you might have given him tea before scooting the little bug-ger out the door.
Thank you! And you're right, I skipped the hospitality entirely. Next time we'll do some tea, a warm towel, and perhaps a small reading of Epictetus before I send him on his way.
This resonates with earlier posts you've written on attention. And the exploration is revealing. Perspective. In the modern age humans are often anchored in supremecy. A belief everything else on this beautiful jewel of a planet is beneath us. The mercy you showed with curious study is expansive.
A similar event happened to me today. We have false widows here (yeap relatives of the black widow). They came from Madeira in the plantation shipments many moons ago. I was clearing some weeds out of the front bed and noticed the bulbous black shape of a female with distinct yellow white skull and cross bones on the back.
Now these can give a nasty bite - she was heading for the road, and my reaction was to find a bit of cardboard to pick her up and put her in dense vegetation. The recyclers had been and before Id found something to pick her up with, she'd faded away.
A few years back the reaction might have been to kill on sight. Fear. Programming. But that pause. Followed by curiosity opened up a new way of seeing. One from the heart. Thats where the magic lives.
Respect my friend. Much metta to you.
Thank you, Jonny. You reached for the cardboard with a spider that could actually have hurt you. That's a harder call than mine was. Shame she'd already moved on, but the instinct is what counts.
Much metta back to you, friend.
I don't often comment...maybe even never. I just wanted to say your emails have changed my life for the better. I love the way you write and the way you think. I just wanted to share that with you and thank you.
Thank you, Ann. Knowing you broke your silence to share this means a great deal, and I'm grateful you did. It's a real gift to hear the writing has mattered to you.
Thank you for this story, it touched me deeply, especially because it concerned one of the nature’s little creatures. Choosing more kindness and compassion over a quick judgment is my wish for the world. I believe you just made the world a better place by making us more aware of ourselves, by shining the light right on that brief but important moment when we can become aware and make a compassionate choice. I am sending this out to my family and friends!
Thank you, Veronika. This means a lot, and I'm so glad it touched you. It's wonderful that you're sharing it with your family and friends.
Well said Veronika. You prefaced "choose compassion" with "when we can become aware". That's not a given as you aptly point out. When I'm aware, in the moment as it were, I'm much more likeley to make a better decision. And "doing nothing" can sometimes be the most compassionate thing we can do.
Turning 70 in a few months, having been a hunter of big and small game in my youth, I find myself noticing I do not wish to kill tiny defenseless creatures that have only hours, days or just weeks of life to live their entire existence, especially as I see and feel my own time flying away untethered and uncatchable. The least I can do is not shorten their already curtailed tiny lives.
This one landed very well. See a lot of my past self and my aspirational self in your words. Thanks
Beautiful 🦟
Interesting how, upon becoming vegan many years ago, I came to this same conclusion involving “choosing compassion when you can”; and how doing so merits worth in a hostile world. Simply by resisting the innate urges to act according to a false sense of self-righteousness and superiority over others, being mindful to not “repay evil for evil”, we are contributing less hostility into the mix, making the world a better, if not potentially safer place to be. And haven’t all the mystics, gurus, and world saviors from Rumi to Jesus to Buddha instructed us to do the same thing accordingly?
Funny thing also how I, too, experience the joy of small and tender mercies every time I find a crane fly in my home. Rather than exercise the typical knee-jerk response of pursue and destroy, I rather go out of my way, sometimes even interrupting a current activity, to catch and release this extraordinary simple and benign creature back into its natural habitat. I do the same thing with house spiders, too, by the way.
Everything that lives and has the breath of life in it has purpose and is worthy of being. It is up to us to choose compassion over mindless actions of cruelty and indifference with no other intent except to rid ourselves of an assumed annoyance, or worse, for our own self amusement.
Inhumanity and inhumane acts take on many forms against many kinds of targets: animals, humans (which are taxonomically animals), and the environment as a whole. But as George Bernard Shaw said: “The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.” Indeed so.
In the split second between reaction and action — “the gap” where self-awareness and awareness of others meet — choosing compassion as an actionable response toward others, when possible, both redefines us as becoming a better version of ourselves and makes the world around us a place that is a little kinder and gentler, a little better than it was before.
It’s not so very hard to do, if you but try.
It is a great story and a beautiful analogy, but I can't help think why doesn't the crane fly eat?
That's because in their larval form they eat voraciously, feeding on the roots of turf and forage crops as 'leather jackets'. They cause unknown millions of dollars in economic damage to residential lawns and forage crops throughout North America.
Keep killing crane flies; their whole job is to propagate and if you stop the propagation you stop the damage.
I Don't know how this relates to your post, but it's important to know crane flies do not exist in a vacuum. They are the end stage.
Are we really supposed to wipe out every creature that propagates and fills its role in nature just because some of their larvae affect human lawns? We do not own the earth.
Oh that comment wasn't for you it was for the content creator. You do what's best for you and your values.
"Choose compassion whenever you can."
It's a bit sad that at least some of us need to be reminded of this. And after all, when is compassion ever not an option?
I appreciate the line that compassion does not always start as warmth. Indeed sometimes friction is necessary to find the truth. However, telling my wife that mayflies have no mouths did nothing for her reaction to the truth of them being everywhere. How do we break down barriers to that which appalls us?
❤️
Beautiful. Well said. Wisdom is a wonderful thing
Thanks a lot 4 sharing