I spent 35 years leading men. Street, then boardroom. The bowl is how good leaders go bad. They stop hiring the man who challenges them and start hiring the man who fills the bowl. Ten years later the room is all mirrors and the decisions show it. Strong piece.
A primary reason I gladly stepped away from corrupt leadership even if I get disoriented and off track when working in the vicinity of sinking values. Eventually I navigate my own course.
This is exactly what I thought too - especially with all his sycophants. JD Vance used to loathe him. Now he has been fully censored. Just like little Marco and so many others.
I think he would (rightly) say that it is one thing to ask for things you want, without being particularly attached to the outcome.
So while it would be nice for him to get paid subscribers, he won't be knocked off balance if it doesn't happen.
The article is also about addiction to praise and the suffocation of one's own opinions in the pursuit of it. No opinions have been crushed in this article to elicit paid subscriptions.
A modern twist to teach a person to fish proverb. Helps me see others as well as myself more clearly. The range of innocent to naive to deceptive. Like salt water. In the ocean, as a bath, for pasta, a good thing. Too much internally, in the eyes, mistaken for sugar, water not pleasant.
Do you think the bowl is sometimes less about vanity and more about survival? Many of us learned very young to scan faces because belonging depended on it. Approval became information: Am I safe here? Am I still welcome? Have I said too much? Am I about to lose the connection? For some neurodivergent people, especially those who learned to mask or carefully read a room in order to belong, that surveillance can become almost second nature. Vigilance is clever that way. It follows us into adulthood long after the original conditions have disappeared. So I wonder whether the work is always to put the bowl down, or to discover, slowly and perhaps with some tenderness, that we no longer need to carry it into every room. I've sat with people for years, and I've become less interested in whether they seek approval than in what they believe would happen if they stopped. That is the haunting question for me. It opens a much deeper door.
The man who puts down the bowl entirely does not become free, he becomes unaccountable. Character is not forged by ignoring the crowd, but by the friction of negotiating with it.
This is very well written and is something that unfortunately is becoming more prevalent in the younger generation when it comes to status and self-worth and how this is being tremendously pushed via social media. Really great post
"Character rarely dies by murder. The common death is barter." And the mirrors line lands hardest. Nobody notices themselves firing the truth-tellers, because it never feels like firing anyone. The challenging friend just gets invited a little less each year, until the room agrees with you by design.
There's a part that resonates with me, the part where the beggar has begun to dislike things the people whose approval he sought, dislike. Reminds me of certain folks when they "join forces" with politicians in my country. Things they used to criticise, suddenly, they start doing.
Here is a respectful letter you could send to the Embassy of Mexico or to a Mexican consulate. It focuses on your ideas rather than on a complaint about a specific social media platform.
Dear Ambassador and Members of the Embassy of Mexico,
Greetings in peace.
My name is Fernando Bautista. I am a United States Marine Corps veteran living with complex PTSD. My experiences in war and in recovery have taught me a lesson that I believe transcends politics, culture, nationality, and religion: healthy societies are built upon truthful relationships.
The greatest strength a human being can possess is not perfection, but sincerity.
When people are free to acknowledge their imperfections without fear of humiliation, trust begins to grow. Psychological research shows that honesty, humility, empathy, and emotional safety are among the strongest foundations for resilient families, communities, and institutions.
The Holy Bible expresses this principle beautifully:
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Truth without love becomes harshness.
Love without truth becomes sentimentality.
Together, they build character.
As a veteran, I have learned that authenticity is not weakness. Admitting my struggles with trauma has allowed me to heal, to understand others more deeply, and to encourage people without attempting to control them.
The fruit of mature leadership is not domination but self-control, humility, patience, and compassion.
This is why I believe every nation benefits when its people are encouraged to speak honestly, listen respectfully, disagree peacefully, and seek reconciliation rather than division.
Mexico possesses a rich heritage rooted in family, faith, hospitality, resilience, and community. These virtues can continue to inspire future generations if they are strengthened through education that emphasizes emotional maturity, responsibility, forgiveness, and mutual respect.
Although I have sometimes felt discouraged when my thoughts have not reached wider audiences through social media, I remain committed to sharing ideas that encourage peace, healing, and human dignity.
Thank you for your service to the people of Mexico and to Mexicans living abroad. May God grant wisdom to all leaders and may our nations continue to grow in justice, compassion, humility, and peace.
“Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
With respect,
Fernando Bautista
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
If you want to send it to the Embassy of Mexico in Washington, D.C., you can find its official contact information here:
Embassy of Mexico in the United States
The embassy uses official @sre.gob.mx email addresses for its staff.
If your goal is related to passports, consular services, or Mexican citizenship, it is usually better to contact the Mexican consulate that serves your state rather than the embassy. You can find the correct consulate and its official email here:
Directory of Mexican Consulates in the United States
Since you’re in Oklahoma, your consular services are generally handled through the Mexican Consulate in Dallas.
I love this piece and am also highly amused by the irony of the 'hit the like' request!
I think it's ok to ask for things you want in life, so long as you haven't had to crush your own spirit or opinions to gain favour from others.
I spent 35 years leading men. Street, then boardroom. The bowl is how good leaders go bad. They stop hiring the man who challenges them and start hiring the man who fills the bowl. Ten years later the room is all mirrors and the decisions show it. Strong piece.
A primary reason I gladly stepped away from corrupt leadership even if I get disoriented and off track when working in the vicinity of sinking values. Eventually I navigate my own course.
Good for you. Always put integrity first.
This is certainly something to think about!
I notice it with the division of America! And the actions from the Leader of the free world.
This is exactly what I thought too - especially with all his sycophants. JD Vance used to loathe him. Now he has been fully censored. Just like little Marco and so many others.
This was a really great read!
Love this. But also, you realize you’re asking (begging?) for a paid subscription with this post? 😃
I was thinking the same thing! 😄 But I imagine SW will reframe it by saying what they're doing is asking us to invest in OUR betterment, not theirs.
I think he would (rightly) say that it is one thing to ask for things you want, without being particularly attached to the outcome.
So while it would be nice for him to get paid subscribers, he won't be knocked off balance if it doesn't happen.
The article is also about addiction to praise and the suffocation of one's own opinions in the pursuit of it. No opinions have been crushed in this article to elicit paid subscriptions.
A modern twist to teach a person to fish proverb. Helps me see others as well as myself more clearly. The range of innocent to naive to deceptive. Like salt water. In the ocean, as a bath, for pasta, a good thing. Too much internally, in the eyes, mistaken for sugar, water not pleasant.
Do you think the bowl is sometimes less about vanity and more about survival? Many of us learned very young to scan faces because belonging depended on it. Approval became information: Am I safe here? Am I still welcome? Have I said too much? Am I about to lose the connection? For some neurodivergent people, especially those who learned to mask or carefully read a room in order to belong, that surveillance can become almost second nature. Vigilance is clever that way. It follows us into adulthood long after the original conditions have disappeared. So I wonder whether the work is always to put the bowl down, or to discover, slowly and perhaps with some tenderness, that we no longer need to carry it into every room. I've sat with people for years, and I've become less interested in whether they seek approval than in what they believe would happen if they stopped. That is the haunting question for me. It opens a much deeper door.
The man who puts down the bowl entirely does not become free, he becomes unaccountable. Character is not forged by ignoring the crowd, but by the friction of negotiating with it.
This is very well written and is something that unfortunately is becoming more prevalent in the younger generation when it comes to status and self-worth and how this is being tremendously pushed via social media. Really great post
“Don’t try to become a man of success, but rather a man of value.” — Albert Einstein.
"Character rarely dies by murder. The common death is barter." And the mirrors line lands hardest. Nobody notices themselves firing the truth-tellers, because it never feels like firing anyone. The challenging friend just gets invited a little less each year, until the room agrees with you by design.
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Love this !
Convicting points to ponder. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you.
There's a part that resonates with me, the part where the beggar has begun to dislike things the people whose approval he sought, dislike. Reminds me of certain folks when they "join forces" with politicians in my country. Things they used to criticise, suddenly, they start doing.
Here is a respectful letter you could send to the Embassy of Mexico or to a Mexican consulate. It focuses on your ideas rather than on a complaint about a specific social media platform.
Dear Ambassador and Members of the Embassy of Mexico,
Greetings in peace.
My name is Fernando Bautista. I am a United States Marine Corps veteran living with complex PTSD. My experiences in war and in recovery have taught me a lesson that I believe transcends politics, culture, nationality, and religion: healthy societies are built upon truthful relationships.
The greatest strength a human being can possess is not perfection, but sincerity.
When people are free to acknowledge their imperfections without fear of humiliation, trust begins to grow. Psychological research shows that honesty, humility, empathy, and emotional safety are among the strongest foundations for resilient families, communities, and institutions.
The Holy Bible expresses this principle beautifully:
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Truth without love becomes harshness.
Love without truth becomes sentimentality.
Together, they build character.
As a veteran, I have learned that authenticity is not weakness. Admitting my struggles with trauma has allowed me to heal, to understand others more deeply, and to encourage people without attempting to control them.
The fruit of mature leadership is not domination but self-control, humility, patience, and compassion.
This is why I believe every nation benefits when its people are encouraged to speak honestly, listen respectfully, disagree peacefully, and seek reconciliation rather than division.
Mexico possesses a rich heritage rooted in family, faith, hospitality, resilience, and community. These virtues can continue to inspire future generations if they are strengthened through education that emphasizes emotional maturity, responsibility, forgiveness, and mutual respect.
Although I have sometimes felt discouraged when my thoughts have not reached wider audiences through social media, I remain committed to sharing ideas that encourage peace, healing, and human dignity.
Thank you for your service to the people of Mexico and to Mexicans living abroad. May God grant wisdom to all leaders and may our nations continue to grow in justice, compassion, humility, and peace.
“Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
With respect,
Fernando Bautista
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
If you want to send it to the Embassy of Mexico in Washington, D.C., you can find its official contact information here:
Embassy of Mexico in the United States
The embassy uses official @sre.gob.mx email addresses for its staff.
If your goal is related to passports, consular services, or Mexican citizenship, it is usually better to contact the Mexican consulate that serves your state rather than the embassy. You can find the correct consulate and its official email here:
Directory of Mexican Consulates in the United States
Since you’re in Oklahoma, your consular services are generally handled through the Mexican Consulate in Dallas.