Wow. One of my favorites from SW. I appreciate the distinction between present pain and self-caused suffering. I think we spend so much time of our lives in the past/future, and not the present. It's a mental battle, and this post gives me hope to start fighting it.
Your post also reminds me of the words of a very wise Man: "Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34)
So simple and true. Yet, one of the hardest commands to keep in the Bible.
The futility of "worrying" has been a theme of my life since I was old enough to recognise it. My Mother, a damaged child of the war years in London, was taught by the best, her Mother. Despite moving to Australia, being loved by a good man, having a house, a child (me), friends and the physical and financial ability to enjoy her love of painting, gardening, taking care of pets, she chose to spend her life worrying about her health, the future, the past. She was terrified of getting cancer again after being successfully treated and surviving 10+ years. She was terrified that macular degeneration would rob her of her sight before she died. She rejected any form of love, support, empathy, friendship, lest it be taken away from her. She died aged 91, of old age, not cancer, still able to read the newspaper, but lonely, bitter, unloving, ungrateful. She was taught to worry from an early age and she made it her life's work without ever wondering if life could be different. I'm so glad I broke with that tradition but now feel so helpless when observing the behaviour on others that I care about. I do not have the skill or the words to relay this wisdom to those who are not seeking it.
Thank you for sharing. I do believe that unresolved trauma is the foundation of this , and I see it in myself at times and have to shake myself out of it . Usually physically exercising or just walking can get my head out of myself.
People don’t realize it, but thoughts are energy packages, and they carry either negative or positive charges. And if you don’t choose them carefully, they can make you sick.
I spend half of my time imagining good things that may never happen, and the other half worrying about things that may never happen. Both create an intense but false sense of happiness or pain. The wiser choice is to live fully with what I have in the present moment.
This also helps in situations where the suffering actually is happening at the present moment - addressing the physical manifestations of the suffering usually helps in regulating the symptoms and taking concrete actions.
Our society actively teaches us to not listen to or trust ourselves so it makes it even more difficult to do this. And that's what is driving the fear that is so prevalent right now. Opportunistic people use that fear as a weapon to manipulate towards their goals. Not buying into the fear, staying grounded in the present like this is so critical to our health and healthy and thriving communities. Thank you for writing this so clearly!
Thank you. Great reminder. I’m definitely guilty of living in a mental yesterday or tomorrow. It brings to mind the Perfect Days mantra: kondo wa kondo, ima wa ima (next time is next time, now is now).
Thats the importance of Living With Presence. Being conscious that we only live in the present, the illusions in psychological time ( our versions of past and future) are stripped away.
Honestly I feel this altered my brain chemistry, I cried reading this. It’s so eye opening and such a reality check but in such a loving and soft manner. The language used is so beautiful I want to quote so much of this but it’s the whole article. Thank you 🫶🏽
Wow. One of my favorites from SW. I appreciate the distinction between present pain and self-caused suffering. I think we spend so much time of our lives in the past/future, and not the present. It's a mental battle, and this post gives me hope to start fighting it.
Your post also reminds me of the words of a very wise Man: "Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34)
So simple and true. Yet, one of the hardest commands to keep in the Bible.
Thank you for writing this.
The futility of "worrying" has been a theme of my life since I was old enough to recognise it. My Mother, a damaged child of the war years in London, was taught by the best, her Mother. Despite moving to Australia, being loved by a good man, having a house, a child (me), friends and the physical and financial ability to enjoy her love of painting, gardening, taking care of pets, she chose to spend her life worrying about her health, the future, the past. She was terrified of getting cancer again after being successfully treated and surviving 10+ years. She was terrified that macular degeneration would rob her of her sight before she died. She rejected any form of love, support, empathy, friendship, lest it be taken away from her. She died aged 91, of old age, not cancer, still able to read the newspaper, but lonely, bitter, unloving, ungrateful. She was taught to worry from an early age and she made it her life's work without ever wondering if life could be different. I'm so glad I broke with that tradition but now feel so helpless when observing the behaviour on others that I care about. I do not have the skill or the words to relay this wisdom to those who are not seeking it.
Thank you for sharing. I do believe that unresolved trauma is the foundation of this , and I see it in myself at times and have to shake myself out of it . Usually physically exercising or just walking can get my head out of myself.
I experience the same thing with workouts and walking. Such an amazing gift exercise is.
Thank you for sharing, Pat. I heard your wisdom.
Thank you Vanessa 😊 🙏
This is so “right on” for me to read today!
One of affirmations is “Live in the Present” another is “Accept things exactly as they are” -
Thank you. 👏🏾💯
People don’t realize it, but thoughts are energy packages, and they carry either negative or positive charges. And if you don’t choose them carefully, they can make you sick.
I spend half of my time imagining good things that may never happen, and the other half worrying about things that may never happen. Both create an intense but false sense of happiness or pain. The wiser choice is to live fully with what I have in the present moment.
Wholeheartedly agree with this Alberto.
Thoughts determine your Feelings, which then drive your behaviors. In that order.
The majority of people have it backwards and try and change behavior first.
You get to decide if your thoughts are positive or negative. Everything is downstream from here.
Wow! Thank you so much, Tom :-)
So trueeee
Chef's kiss! Useful, clear framework for reigning in the dramatic human mind we all grapple with. This is pure gold.
This also helps in situations where the suffering actually is happening at the present moment - addressing the physical manifestations of the suffering usually helps in regulating the symptoms and taking concrete actions.
This is what makes Stoicism so confronting.
Most of what we call suffering is time-travel.
Very little of it exists in the room with us.
I needed this, thanks.
Our society actively teaches us to not listen to or trust ourselves so it makes it even more difficult to do this. And that's what is driving the fear that is so prevalent right now. Opportunistic people use that fear as a weapon to manipulate towards their goals. Not buying into the fear, staying grounded in the present like this is so critical to our health and healthy and thriving communities. Thank you for writing this so clearly!
Thank you. Great reminder. I’m definitely guilty of living in a mental yesterday or tomorrow. It brings to mind the Perfect Days mantra: kondo wa kondo, ima wa ima (next time is next time, now is now).
When I'm reading your posts it genuinely feels like a therapy session. Thank you for sharing those in public!
Thats the importance of Living With Presence. Being conscious that we only live in the present, the illusions in psychological time ( our versions of past and future) are stripped away.
It's just attachment to the memory.
Honestly I feel this altered my brain chemistry, I cried reading this. It’s so eye opening and such a reality check but in such a loving and soft manner. The language used is so beautiful I want to quote so much of this but it’s the whole article. Thank you 🫶🏽