Stoic Wisdoms

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How to Deflate Your Ego
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How to Deflate Your Ego

A guide to controlling ego and fostering humility, with practical tips on active listening and learning from failure, for deeper connections and personal growth.

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Stoic Wisdoms
Oct 28, 2024
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Stoic Wisdoms
Stoic Wisdoms
How to Deflate Your Ego
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A few months ago, I went to a reunion with some friends from high school. We hadn't seen each other much since graduation, so I was excited to catch up and hear about everyone's lives. Among the group was Mike, who had always been the top student in our class. He'd gotten into a prestigious university and landed a high-paying job right after college. As the night went on, it became clear that Mike's achievements had gone to his head. He dominated every conversation, constantly talking about his successes, his fancy new car, and his impressive job title. When someone else tried to share their own news, he would quickly steer the topic back to himself. People started to drift away from him, finding excuses to join other groups.

In contrast, Lisa, another friend who had also accomplished a lot since high school, was the life of the party in a different way. She had started her own successful business but was humble about it. Instead of talking about herself, she asked others about their lives, listened genuinely, and celebrated their achievements. People naturally gravitated toward her, enjoying the easy conversation and positive vibes.

Seeing the difference between Mike and Lisa made me think about how ego affects our relationships. While confidence is important, an inflated ego can push people away and hinder our personal growth. It got me wondering: How can we keep our egos in check and embrace humility to become better friends and better people?

"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." — Thomas Merton

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Understanding the Ego Trap

Ego can be a subtle yet powerful force that influences how we interact with the world around us. Have you ever found yourself dismissing someone else's opinion because you're convinced you know better? Maybe you've craved constant recognition, feeling unsettled unless others praise your achievements. Or perhaps you've felt uneasy or even threatened when someone else succeeds, worrying that their success somehow diminishes your own.

These feelings and reactions are signs that ego might be steering the ship.

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