I needed to read this today. Thank you! As a highly sensitive person, who tries to take a Stoic approach to life, I am always challenged by different experiences. Reminders like this are so helpful though.
Where's this philosophical perspective been during my lifetime? The article is insightful to progressively understanding one's actual place in the context of this maelstrom of existence. From an early age I began having the desire to be older because I would then be smarter, wiser, better equipped for life. I've come to realize that just the experience gained in the passage of one's life doesn't equate to a wise being. And my own existence is an insufficient resource.
Great piece. I’ve seen this play out a hundred times in hospitals. A doctor snaps, a nurse walks past without a word, a family member looks through you as if you’re not even there. At first it feels like a verdict on your worth. But with time you realize, it’s almost never about you. It’s their fatigue, their fear, their own storm.
That’s what struck me in this piece. Most of what we experience as personal is just weather. And weather doesn’t care about your plans; it just moves. The freedom comes when you stop building stories around every cloud and start asking the simpler question: what’s actually happening here, right now?
It's really not what people say or do to you that matters. The thing that matters is what part of your psyche has been triggered is it neglect ,not being seen, you feel abandoned etc. It's about you and if you let their words or actions rock your world. No one has the power over your mind only you do. Be free and flow like water.
As much as I would like this, I have fallen into this grey area, where I am unable to gauge whether to pour in my efforts in people that I care, but they simply do not reciprocate with the same intensity. It is these small ques that I began to observe until I completely got overwhelmed by this thinking about their every minor movement, observing, estimating, overthinking why they had done something.
But, I believe that, there is no point in keeping my efforts onesided. I would like to gain the wisdom to have a better judgement of where the actual truth lies as in you told, where the other people are only trying to better the lives and not target us, versus, whether we are being kept close only for our usefulness where in fact, we don't really matter to them.
You are the sky not the weather...a helpful tip and already well known is to pause slightly before replying to something you are unsure about...take a breath and say, 'although I mostly agree, I feel...' and get clarification from the other person before assuming their motivation was to attack you. It most likely wasn't and after a poor night's sleep, too much coffee or too much stimulation from other people and work, you are probably not clear in your thinking. The email or written response rule is even easier...wait five mins and then re read before sending. Be the calm observer not the maelstrom.
I frequently recall another Stoic bit of advice. 'If you never heard this remark, you'd never have been offended. So why are you offended just because you heard it?"
I have this coworker whose comments I usually feel undermined by. I realized that it was more about my own disbelief in my abilities than him actually calling me incapable.
This is definitely going to change the ways I react to those situations
I needed to read this today. Thank you! As a highly sensitive person, who tries to take a Stoic approach to life, I am always challenged by different experiences. Reminders like this are so helpful though.
Thanks for reading. Being highly sensitive makes Stoicism harder but also more valuable 🙏
Where's this philosophical perspective been during my lifetime? The article is insightful to progressively understanding one's actual place in the context of this maelstrom of existence. From an early age I began having the desire to be older because I would then be smarter, wiser, better equipped for life. I've come to realize that just the experience gained in the passage of one's life doesn't equate to a wise being. And my own existence is an insufficient resource.
Age doesn't create wisdom but reflection does. You're proving that right here.
Great piece. I’ve seen this play out a hundred times in hospitals. A doctor snaps, a nurse walks past without a word, a family member looks through you as if you’re not even there. At first it feels like a verdict on your worth. But with time you realize, it’s almost never about you. It’s their fatigue, their fear, their own storm.
That’s what struck me in this piece. Most of what we experience as personal is just weather. And weather doesn’t care about your plans; it just moves. The freedom comes when you stop building stories around every cloud and start asking the simpler question: what’s actually happening here, right now?
It's really not what people say or do to you that matters. The thing that matters is what part of your psyche has been triggered is it neglect ,not being seen, you feel abandoned etc. It's about you and if you let their words or actions rock your world. No one has the power over your mind only you do. Be free and flow like water.
As much as I would like this, I have fallen into this grey area, where I am unable to gauge whether to pour in my efforts in people that I care, but they simply do not reciprocate with the same intensity. It is these small ques that I began to observe until I completely got overwhelmed by this thinking about their every minor movement, observing, estimating, overthinking why they had done something.
But, I believe that, there is no point in keeping my efforts onesided. I would like to gain the wisdom to have a better judgement of where the actual truth lies as in you told, where the other people are only trying to better the lives and not target us, versus, whether we are being kept close only for our usefulness where in fact, we don't really matter to them.
Appreciate you opening up. Measuring reciprocity will drive you crazy. Your own integrity gives you a much clearer signal to follow.
You are the sky not the weather...a helpful tip and already well known is to pause slightly before replying to something you are unsure about...take a breath and say, 'although I mostly agree, I feel...' and get clarification from the other person before assuming their motivation was to attack you. It most likely wasn't and after a poor night's sleep, too much coffee or too much stimulation from other people and work, you are probably not clear in your thinking. The email or written response rule is even easier...wait five mins and then re read before sending. Be the calm observer not the maelstrom.
This is such a refreshing perception to look at, and I certainly agree.
I needed this. Thank you!
Thank you for saying that
Wise words
Wonderful way of thinking. Now for the execution.
Merci, very interesting point of view on human thoughts and behaviors.
I frequently recall another Stoic bit of advice. 'If you never heard this remark, you'd never have been offended. So why are you offended just because you heard it?"
I have this coworker whose comments I usually feel undermined by. I realized that it was more about my own disbelief in my abilities than him actually calling me incapable.
This is definitely going to change the ways I react to those situations
Always a valuable perspective shared.
This was so impactful for me, thank you for writing and publishing it.