Excellent. My Only difference is Righteous Outrage. If your definition involves Anger, I dont't think outrage accomplishes anything and can be a real negative, even if it's "righteous." Thanks for a great article.
Understanding that the person who created the problem might not even be included as part of the solution. So, don't waste energy on them and instead, focus on the helpers and your own actions until the problem is resolved. Blame = lame
Great timing. There is a section in my life where great harm has been caused onto me and the other person did nothing about it. I am exhausted from the amount of anger and helplessness I felt for months - having to use my own resources to recover, the amount of emotion distress its caused, so much anger and blame. I am trying to let go, despite having come up with the action plan to move myself forward. But the forgiveness is still missing in me. I will try to work on it further. Thanks for this
I seek to take responsibility for my part in everything. I will take the higher road to make it right, or at least clear the energetic air. This article is truly helpful in offering solutions for working through resentments and disputes. I love this part in particular, “This happened because of X” and “What I can actually do about this is Y.”
I very much appreciate this view, and can related a bit too much to it. I also see some value in reflecting on the cause, especially if it seems to be a pattern, and others are being harmed, and I may be blindly enabling, etc. This 'reflection' can also be a trap, as I take myself back to the external 'cause'. (So, how do I see the 'problem'?)
Mmmmm, I like this piece but disagree. As an individual I can campaign and write about injustice within systems and process. I can write to Members of Parilament to complain. However, there is such a thing as systemised bias where the very systems and processes are flawed due to faulty assumptions - most economic models contain such bias, legislation and laws another area where they are biased towards those with wealth and power looking to protect their assets. I can blame previous and present governments because the issues in question go into the too difficult to change basket. Think of the growing inequity of wealth, where capitalism was structure to give greater benefit to owners than the labour that produced the goods. Those that have wealth are always in a stronger position than those in poverty, by the very fact that they can use the wealth to protect, to influence and to persuade politicians of what needs to be done.
The poor don't have the resources to achieve a change of outcome. History repeatedly demonstrates this fact. The instances of political change through revolution is rarely sustained or achieved. You discuss agency and doing something. Think of how Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Regan hammered trade unions, reduced taxation upon the wealthy, introduced unemployment and austerity as a means to improve the economy. For who! This was the start of the growing inequality that is here in today’s society. The wealthy own media channels, own the assets of the world and keep extracting from the third world without adequate compensation to those countries. So whilst, I take agency and write a reply. Blame still goes unseen, unacknowledged, and under done. So a simple article written by a stoic, is misplaced in actual politics. Yes, you can bury your head, inside of rhetoric. Blame is sometimes a starting point for a better discussion of the problem. Have the honest to accept that on a micro level it doesn't translate into a macro level as you seem to surmise.
Blame is necessary. Thinking should never stop at blame. It’s saying a lot that you and some are correlating Blame with a lack of action or a formed helplessness. Knowing the problem and where it’s stemming from is important work and necessary for finding a solution. Part of the reason our world is where it is is because there’s so many people telling us not to point fingers, victim shaming and spiritual or psychologically gaslighting or telling us that we need to point only at ourselves. It’s not true. We need both to point the problem outside of us and inside of us. We need to un shame blame. Blame is not the problem, the way we are utilizing it might be.
Same will alllll things. It’s context and application aka discernment that seems to be lacking from the world of spiritual psychology. Personally, I had a lot of shadows to work through in order to simply learn to call a spade, a spade without shaming myself for naming and blaming another person when they had actually hurt me, manipulated and betrayed, by no fault of my own except being in relationship with them. But even that was a coercion of my senses on their part.
I realize that the rest of your article after the first section touches on some of these things, but the entire narrative around blame being a problem rather than part OF a solution, the title itself, is incorrect. Some may truly need to stop blaming others for things that are indeed of their making but as a blanket ideology it’s harmful to many.
When one spends all one's energy and time analysing i.e. blaming oneself, the same applies. Ask oneself what can be done - by me - including when to allow acceptance of one's flaws. But not avoiding repairing harm done, or doing better next time.
Hah! This always reminds me of the tennisplayer who looks at his racket in blame and misses the next shot! In the Lojong teachings this is called "putting all blame on the one" ie. It's no good blaming others : sort out what needs to be done. I jokingly call it dealing with other people's karma which turns out to be my karma.
I loved the concept of the article, but I believe it could have gone deeper, as it is a deeper issue. Blame and guilt play essential roles in our western society. Assigning blame and deeming someone guilty is basically a sport at this point. We just watch the witch hunts and most of the time even we use our energy to think about that someone, if when asked we will say guilty or not. Nobody prepares the nuanced answer, or the most honest of not really knowing enough to have a real opinion.
If we have that on a societal level, then of course it transitions to our closer relationships. That's the core of it. Nobody we can blame in particular of that, so we ignore instead of realizing the only way to make it better is by changing ourselves.
Now, that is a much larger responsibility, don't you think?
Also, blame is the coward's way to assign guilt. Blame doesn't care about intent, when intent is all that should matter to fix systemic issues. Once you realize that, the judging changes shape. Why else do people get angry at a child for dropping a glass and not at an adult? Intent to break it or lack of the intent to keep it whole is assumed in an instant, not verified. More often than the child is not at fault. It's just their learning process and their ever increasing access to things as they grow.
So, this is my perspective in a short sentence. Let's fix what is possible to fix, mourn what isn't, and analyze intent of what happened.
The only thing I wouldn't agree upon is not displaying outrage. I personally think that most of us have emotional outbursts at the people or situations as they are (esp. people) because then it gives them a sense of wronging the us. If we go ahead and resolve every issue as they come without actually pointing out the fault, in today's world that's a plus point for the system that failed / people that wronged/ parents that went wrong etc. Not completely sure as to how to balance between displaying emotions and resolving things but that's about it. An excellent post nevertheless (as always)!
Excellent. My Only difference is Righteous Outrage. If your definition involves Anger, I dont't think outrage accomplishes anything and can be a real negative, even if it's "righteous." Thanks for a great article.
Understanding that the person who created the problem might not even be included as part of the solution. So, don't waste energy on them and instead, focus on the helpers and your own actions until the problem is resolved. Blame = lame
Forgiveness. We have to forgive those that sin against us. A forgiving person doesn’t seek out scapegoats, they work on themselves.
You don’t have to be a Christian to understand this concept.
Great timing. There is a section in my life where great harm has been caused onto me and the other person did nothing about it. I am exhausted from the amount of anger and helplessness I felt for months - having to use my own resources to recover, the amount of emotion distress its caused, so much anger and blame. I am trying to let go, despite having come up with the action plan to move myself forward. But the forgiveness is still missing in me. I will try to work on it further. Thanks for this
I seek to take responsibility for my part in everything. I will take the higher road to make it right, or at least clear the energetic air. This article is truly helpful in offering solutions for working through resentments and disputes. I love this part in particular, “This happened because of X” and “What I can actually do about this is Y.”
This is “right on” point!
The government has been blaming each party for years and especially seen in the 21st century!
And look where we are!
I very much appreciate this view, and can related a bit too much to it. I also see some value in reflecting on the cause, especially if it seems to be a pattern, and others are being harmed, and I may be blindly enabling, etc. This 'reflection' can also be a trap, as I take myself back to the external 'cause'. (So, how do I see the 'problem'?)
Elon once said;"Don't destroy what you hate,Dave what you love"...Linking this and your post.I could finally make out something meaningful.
Solving the problem is actually the real flex❣️🤞
Mmmmm, I like this piece but disagree. As an individual I can campaign and write about injustice within systems and process. I can write to Members of Parilament to complain. However, there is such a thing as systemised bias where the very systems and processes are flawed due to faulty assumptions - most economic models contain such bias, legislation and laws another area where they are biased towards those with wealth and power looking to protect their assets. I can blame previous and present governments because the issues in question go into the too difficult to change basket. Think of the growing inequity of wealth, where capitalism was structure to give greater benefit to owners than the labour that produced the goods. Those that have wealth are always in a stronger position than those in poverty, by the very fact that they can use the wealth to protect, to influence and to persuade politicians of what needs to be done.
The poor don't have the resources to achieve a change of outcome. History repeatedly demonstrates this fact. The instances of political change through revolution is rarely sustained or achieved. You discuss agency and doing something. Think of how Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Regan hammered trade unions, reduced taxation upon the wealthy, introduced unemployment and austerity as a means to improve the economy. For who! This was the start of the growing inequality that is here in today’s society. The wealthy own media channels, own the assets of the world and keep extracting from the third world without adequate compensation to those countries. So whilst, I take agency and write a reply. Blame still goes unseen, unacknowledged, and under done. So a simple article written by a stoic, is misplaced in actual politics. Yes, you can bury your head, inside of rhetoric. Blame is sometimes a starting point for a better discussion of the problem. Have the honest to accept that on a micro level it doesn't translate into a macro level as you seem to surmise.
Blame is necessary. Thinking should never stop at blame. It’s saying a lot that you and some are correlating Blame with a lack of action or a formed helplessness. Knowing the problem and where it’s stemming from is important work and necessary for finding a solution. Part of the reason our world is where it is is because there’s so many people telling us not to point fingers, victim shaming and spiritual or psychologically gaslighting or telling us that we need to point only at ourselves. It’s not true. We need both to point the problem outside of us and inside of us. We need to un shame blame. Blame is not the problem, the way we are utilizing it might be.
Same will alllll things. It’s context and application aka discernment that seems to be lacking from the world of spiritual psychology. Personally, I had a lot of shadows to work through in order to simply learn to call a spade, a spade without shaming myself for naming and blaming another person when they had actually hurt me, manipulated and betrayed, by no fault of my own except being in relationship with them. But even that was a coercion of my senses on their part.
I realize that the rest of your article after the first section touches on some of these things, but the entire narrative around blame being a problem rather than part OF a solution, the title itself, is incorrect. Some may truly need to stop blaming others for things that are indeed of their making but as a blanket ideology it’s harmful to many.
When one spends all one's energy and time analysing i.e. blaming oneself, the same applies. Ask oneself what can be done - by me - including when to allow acceptance of one's flaws. But not avoiding repairing harm done, or doing better next time.
Hah! This always reminds me of the tennisplayer who looks at his racket in blame and misses the next shot! In the Lojong teachings this is called "putting all blame on the one" ie. It's no good blaming others : sort out what needs to be done. I jokingly call it dealing with other people's karma which turns out to be my karma.
Spot on! I needed this. ♡
Nice👏
I loved the concept of the article, but I believe it could have gone deeper, as it is a deeper issue. Blame and guilt play essential roles in our western society. Assigning blame and deeming someone guilty is basically a sport at this point. We just watch the witch hunts and most of the time even we use our energy to think about that someone, if when asked we will say guilty or not. Nobody prepares the nuanced answer, or the most honest of not really knowing enough to have a real opinion.
If we have that on a societal level, then of course it transitions to our closer relationships. That's the core of it. Nobody we can blame in particular of that, so we ignore instead of realizing the only way to make it better is by changing ourselves.
Now, that is a much larger responsibility, don't you think?
Also, blame is the coward's way to assign guilt. Blame doesn't care about intent, when intent is all that should matter to fix systemic issues. Once you realize that, the judging changes shape. Why else do people get angry at a child for dropping a glass and not at an adult? Intent to break it or lack of the intent to keep it whole is assumed in an instant, not verified. More often than the child is not at fault. It's just their learning process and their ever increasing access to things as they grow.
So, this is my perspective in a short sentence. Let's fix what is possible to fix, mourn what isn't, and analyze intent of what happened.
The only thing I wouldn't agree upon is not displaying outrage. I personally think that most of us have emotional outbursts at the people or situations as they are (esp. people) because then it gives them a sense of wronging the us. If we go ahead and resolve every issue as they come without actually pointing out the fault, in today's world that's a plus point for the system that failed / people that wronged/ parents that went wrong etc. Not completely sure as to how to balance between displaying emotions and resolving things but that's about it. An excellent post nevertheless (as always)!